Skipper’s Tale Read online

  Private wore a mermaid costume and a frown. “I don’t want to be the diversion,” Private complained.

  “That’s the spirit!” Skipper boomed.

  He pushed Private toward the penguin tank. There he was mobbed by dozens of fans. Dave’s entrance was blocked!

  BAM! The janitor’s closet door flew open. Out flew Rico, riding a plunger on a vacuum like a witch’s broom. The suction cup landed against the glass of a seal tank with a splat!

  But the penguins weren’t the only ones after Dave!

  “Secure the mermaids, and find me David the octopus,” Agent Classified said, dropping down from a laser-cut hole in the ceiling.

  Suddenly—Splash!—the seal tank shattered, spilling seals and water into the hall. The cascade swept Dave into the whale room, where—Crash!—the whale skeleton dropped down over Dave, trapping him in a jail cell of ribs!

  “Corporal, take our prisoner into custody,” Agent Classified ordered.

  But when they looked inside the skeleton, all that was left was a soggy diving suit. Dave was gone!

  Kowalski pushed aside the suit. Underneath was a drain. Skipper gasped. Dave was slinking through the pipes to the penguin tank!

  “Private!” Skipper cried.

  But by the time they reached the tank, Dave had his slimy tentacles wrapped around Private.

  “Skipper, help!” Private shouted.

  The penguins dove down the drainpipe after Dave. But when they spilled out at the other end, Dave’s sub had left the dock.

  “He’s got Private! He’s getting away!” Skipper cried.

  “Skipper, look!” Kowalski said, pointing to the North Wind’s plane.

  Boo-yah! The penguins jumped inside the plane and gunned the engine. The North Wind reached the pier just in time to see their plane take off.

  “No! No! No! No! NO!” Agent Classified shouted.

  Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico smiled as they flipped the plane upside down. They were back in the game!

  “Now,” Skipper declared, “let’s get our boy!”

  SKIPPER’S FAVORITE JOKES, PART 6

  Q: Why is Eva a terrible baseball player?

  A: She always hits fowl balls!

  Q: What do you call a penguin that can write?

  A: A pen-guin.

  Knock, knock!

  Who’s there?

  Cold.

  Cold who?

  Cold you close the window, it’s freezing in here!

  Chapter Six

  But the penguins’ high-flying mission to save Private didn’t last for long. Before they knew it, Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico were riding a small hunk of debris in the middle of the ocean.

  Agent Classified had unleashed the biggest dog fight known to penguins to get his plane back!

  The result: one blown-up plane plus three penguins towed behind the North Wind’s inflatable pod. Skipper was wondering how his unit could last, when he heard something beeping.

  The North Wind’s technology had located Private. Thanks to their homing device, they could see that Private had been taken to a remote island.

  “You put a homing device on Private?” Skipper exclaimed.

  “All of you, actually,” Agent Classified said. “When I darted you.”

  Skipper felt mad. Madder than he’d ever felt before. But as the leader of his crew, he had to find Private. Even if it meant working with a flea-bitten toilet-drinker like Agent Classified!

  But working together wasn’t easy. Skipper wanted to strike fast and hard. The North Wind’s plan meant state-of-the-art holograms, underwater nanocharges, a personal hovertank, and auto-targeting wing mounts!

  “Who’s for the North Wind’s plan?” Agent Classified asked, taking a vote.

  Skipper raised his flipper. He hated to admit it, but Agent Classified’s plan was better than his.

  “But we’re a team, Skipper!” Kowalski argued. “We don’t need these guys!”

  “No, Kowalski, but Private does.” Skipper sighed. “I think this time we leave it to the professionals.”

  And that was an order!

  SKIPPER’S FAVORITE JOKES, PART 7

  Q: How do Skipper and Private travel together?

  A: On an icicle built for two!

  Q: Why did Private have so much trouble ordering lunch?

  A: He couldn’t decide between the brr-ito and the brr-ger.

  Q: What does Rico do to relax?

  A: He chills out.

  Chapter Seven

  As an elite team, Skipper, Rico, and Kowalski had gone undercover several times. But their latest German dancer disguises had to be the “wurst!”

  Like their lederhosen wedgies, the penguins sucked it up and distracted Dave’s guards from their submarine, just as Classified had laid out in his plan. But then, instead of a signal from the North Wind, they got snapped inside a cage by more octopi henchmen!

  “Hey!” the penguins complained.

  As they were wheeled into the sub, they spotted the North Wind, also in a cage.

  “Stay strong!” Short Fuse shouted to them. “Love the one you’re with!”

  The penguins rode down an elevator platform into Dave’s evil lab. There, strapped to a gurney was—

  “Private!” Skipper cried.

  Dave snickered as he aimed the ray at the gurney.

  “You point that death ray away from Private right now!” Skipper ordered.

  “It’s not a death ray, Skipper!” Private shouted. “He’s going to turn us into monsters!”

  “You can’t take away Private’s cuteness,” Skipper cried out.

  “He’s the cute one,” Kolwalski added. “That’s his thing!”

  Twisting knobs and pointing the ray at Private, Dave sneered, “You are supercute. We better crank this up.”

  His henchmen increased the power on the ray.

  Skipper knew they had to do something, but first they had to bust out of the cage!

  “Rico, the paper clip!” Skipper shouted.

  Rico hocked up lots of things, including a baseball glove. Everything but a paper clip. Private watched until he remembered something awesome. He had the paper clip. All he had to do was regurgitate it and—

  Zap! It was too late. Dave had already fired the ray!

  “No!” Skipper cried.

  He, Kowalski, and Rico braced for a monstrous Private. But when the smoke cleared all that was left were a few feathers. Private had disintegrated!

  “That wasn’t supposed to happen,” Dave said. But practice would make perfect, so he turned to his henchmen and ordered them to chart a course for New York City. “The monsters are due in Manhattan!”

  As they were wheeled out of the lab, Skipper knew he’d failed Private. What he didn’t know was that Private was alive and hiding under a gurney!

  Private had hocked up the paper clip and wasn’t afraid to use it. He would use it to escape!

  SKIPPER’S FAVORITE JOKES, PART 8

  Q: What does Rico do after he eats?

  A: He brr-ps!

  Q: What do you call a surprised octopus?

  A: A shocked-opus!

  Q: Where do zoo animals go to school?

  A: The zoo-niversity!

  Chapter Eight

  Pen-guins! Pen-guins! Pen-guins!”

  The cheering crowd at New York’s Battery Park had gathered in the hundreds. But they weren’t there to see the Statue of Liberty. They were there to see penguins!

  Feeling like a rock star, Dave watched from his sub under the Hudson River. As Dr. Octavius Brine, he had told the world that he had found the missing penguins and was bringing them to New York. He couldn’t wait to give the world the penguins they wanted . . . with a few modifications.

  Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico didn’t notice the cheers. They were too busy crying for Private.

  The penguins didn’t notice Private, either, even though he was calling to them through a nearby window. Before trying to escape Dave’s sub, Private had bravely freed the North W
ind. But instead of teaming up to save the penguins, the North Wind had retreated to headquarters to come up with a new plan. Private was on his own!

  “Skipper!” Private called. “Rico! Kowalski!”

  “It’s like I can still hear his little voice.” Skipper sighed. Suddenly—

  Fwa-zap! Private watched helplessly as Dave’s sinister ray blasted Medusa Serum through the cage room!

  “Noooooo!” Private cried.

  • • •

  Back in Battery Park, penguin fever grew as Dave’s sub rose from the river.

  “Without further ado,” Dave shouted to the crowd, “your new and improved penguins!”

  The sub’s mouth tilted to spit thick green smoke onto the shore. When it cleared, eyes popped and jaws dropped. Waddling toward the people in the crowd weren’t lovable, adorable penguins. These were wild-eyed, feathered monsters!

  Men, women, and children screamed. When Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico saw one another they screamed too!

  “They’re hideous!” Dave squealed joyfully.

  Private watched as mutant penguins trashed the park! He had to do something.

  But it wasn’t going to be easy. Dave’s henchmen had sealed the sub shut. There was no way out. But that’s when Private had an idea. . . .

  Private rushed toward Dave’s ray machine. He started it up. VROOM! It was go time.

  Private crashed through Dave’s henchmen and the wall of the sub. Soon he was in the middle of the action. Through the chaos he found Skipper tearing apart a souvenir kiosk!

  “Rrrrrrraaaaaargh!” Skipper growled.

  “It’s okay, Skipper!” Private called. “It’s me. Private!”

  With another roar Skipper lunged at Private. The little penguin raised his flipper and—Smack!—slapped Skipper’s mutant face!

  “Oh dear,” Private gulped.

  Slowly Skipper’s face softened.

  “Pry-vit?” Skipper the mutant asked. “Private, you’re alive!”

  Skipper excitedly shouted for Kowalski and Rico. When the two saw Private, they went from monstrous to mush!

  “Save your hugs for the holidays,” Skipper ordered. “We’ve got to find a way to stop this mutant penguin apocalypse!”

  The penguins boarded the ray and Kowalski studied it. To reverse the horrible results, they would have to swap the serum with a fuel source of immeasurable cuteness.

  “Where are we going to get that?” Skipper asked. He looked at Private and shouted, “Where are you going?”

  Private was crawling inside the ray’s chamber because, seriously, who was immeasurably cuter than him?

  “Get out of there!” Skipper shouted. “That’s an order!”

  This time Private refused to obey.

  “I’m the secret weapon!” Private exclaimed.

  Skipper knew Private was right. He had to let the little scamp grow up. So, using the remote, Skipper lifted the ray.

  Screaming orders to his henchmen, Dave charged toward the penguins. Skipper knew they had time for only one shot.

  Kowalski and Rico worked fast, taping snow globes together to make one giant sphere. By now octopi were pouring out of the sub, charging straight for them!

  “Beam splitter ready!” Kowalski shouted. “Fire at will!”

  Skipper was about to press the button when an octopus whacked the remote from his flipper.

  “Nooo!” Skipper cried as it flew out of reach. What now? Suddenly something clicked in Skipper’s brain. He turned to Rico and yelled, “Dibble me!”

  Luckily, Rico had bought Cheezy Dibbles along with batteries for the ray. He tossed the bag to Skipper. Skipper caught it and popped the bag open. A single Dibble shot out. It zoomed through the air, landing on the remote’s button, and—

  FLASH!

  A humongous ray of light blinded Battery Park. When the flash faded, Dave found himself small, adorable, and stuck inside a New York City–themed snow globe!

  “What?” Dave cried.

  Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico were back to their adorable, cuddy-waddly selves. So were hundreds of penguins all over Battery Park. But what about Private?

  A shell began to encase Private on all sides. The penguins tried to stop the shell from covering Private completely, but it was no use.

  Corporal stepped in to help. He smashed the glass chamber of the ray, and gently placed the shell in front of Skipper.

  “Private . . . ,” Skipper whispered.

  Just then, the outer casing of the shell began to crack.

  Splat! The shell exploded, covering everyone in goop.

  “Private?” Skipper said cautiously.

  Private was woozy. And he had a new mutation. A tiny chicken head had sprouted on top of his head!

  “Hello,” Private said.

  “Hello!” the chicken head squawked.

  The penguins all cheered, until Private’s chicken head clamped down on Kowalski’s head.

  Private struggled with the chicken head until he finally managed to pull it off Kowalski.

  “Hehe. Sorry,” Private said.

  Skipper was overcome with emotion.

  “Soldier, you apologize for nothing,” Skipper told him. “You just saved our lives. You just saved the whole dad-blasted species! You’re the best one of us all. You’re the elite-est of the elite. The most meaningful and valued member of this team.”

  Private beamed and saluted Skipper, who saluted right back. Skipper stuck out his tongue at Private, and he giggled. Then all the penguins rushed in for a group hug.

  The penguin fans in Battery Park were thrilled that penguinkind was back to normal. What they were less than thrilled to see was a giant polar bear in the middle of the park. It was Corporal. Agent Classified had brought the North Wind back to help during the battle with Dave. He had seen the error of his ways.

  “This is difficult for me to say, but I was wrong about you,” Agent Classified said to the penguins. “And there’s only one way to make it right.”

  “Give us jet packs!” Kowalski said, at the same time Eva was saying, “We should kiss.”

  Kowalski couldn’t believe what he just heard. “Whoa. Uh, did you just say . . .” Before he could finish, Eva grabbed him and dipped him, and put up her wing to block everyone’s view. Skipper covered Private’s eyes.

  When Eva moved her wing, Kowalski was covered in kiss marks! “Well, that feels right!” Kowalski said.

  “I think I’d actually prefer a jet pack, please,” Private said.

  Skipper turned to Classified with a grin. “You heard the man!” he said.

  The North Wind provided the penguins with jet packs. Everything was great, except for one thing. Private still had a chicken head!

  Private flew over to Skipper’s side. “So, are we turning me back to normal, or . . . ?”

  Skipper grinned. “Well, what is normal, Private? I believe we’ve learned from this delightful adventure that looks don’t matter. It’s what’s inside that counts.”

  Kowalski flew over to join them. Private’s chicken head suddenly grabbed onto Kowalski’s head, ripped him out of his jet pack and threw him away. Private gasped! Luckily Rico caught Kowalski in time, and plopped him back in his jet pack.

  “All right, fine. We’ll turn you back first thing Monday,” Skipper promised.

  The penguins all cheered. It was straight ahead to a glorious future. After all, they were still a loyal team of four. Fearless, dedicated, and so very cute!

  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  SIMON SPOTLIGHT

  An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing Division

  1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, New York 10020

  www.SimonandSchuster.com

  This Simon Spotlight paperb
ack edition October 2014

  Penguins of Madagascar © 2014 DreamWorks Animation L.L.C. All Rights Reserved.

  All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form.

  SIMON SPOTLIGHT and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

  Designed by Jay Colvin

  The text of this book was set in ITC Officina Sans.

  ISBN 978-1-4814-3737-0 (hc)

  ISBN 978-1-4814-3736-3 (pbk)

  ISBN 978-1-4814-3738-7 (eBook)